ultra tiring

i have not felt this way for a long time. my bones are going to break with the slightest push. ULTRA SUPER DUPER tired! rushing like a red bull at work place, hopefully to finish my work before i leave. i cant stand looking at the mountain of documents piling up continuously in the cupboard, waiting for my attention. it scares the hell of me, as if my work is an on-going affair. it NEVER ends!!! for dry run, it was good considering the limited time we had and being our FIRST. definitely there is many rooms for improvement. i am just thankful to everyone who was there to make it a smooth sailing dry run, and most importantly their honest feedbacks. they may hurt but they are helpful. sometimes, i rather face the harsh truth than a beautiful mask.

besides all the rushings, i have confirmed something about me. i am having a love-hate relationship with it. it is good because things will move and hopefully be done but i may piss the people around me in the process. i am unsure if it is something good or bad about me. for one thing i am sure of is it is in me. i try to change it, and i meant it but it just comes back naturally. i will feel uncomfortable all over my body when things are slow or undone. it makes me want to push the person in front of me. and so the cycle begins. luckily, i have friends who truly understand me and decide to leave me alone. if not, i guess things will most likely turn ugly.

my body is telling me to jump onto my bed with my wet hair and leave all matters till tomorrow. on the other hand, my brain is persuading me to stay up a little longer to settle matters that are running in my head now. i need to write them down. i need to start to think. and finally, let the work begin! push on!!!